What’s a 236^th birthday celebration without a cookout? Un-American, that’s what. Thankfully the good people at Nathan’s Famous Hot Dogs on Coney Island have us covered on the Fourth of July.

For the 97^th consecutive year, the corner of Surf and Stillwell Avenues will play host to America’s annual test of nitrate noshing – world-renowned Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest. It’s a matter of mind over meat and has made minor celebrities of some of the big guns of the hot dog bun. Names like Ed “Cookie” Jarvis, Eric “Badlands” Booker and Sonya “The Black Widow” Thomas have become part of the American sporting lexicon for their ability to cut the mustard. But they’re all looking up at the country’s current top dog – Joey Chestnut.

Chestnut relished his chance to compete with eating legend Takeru Kobayashi and helped launch a new sports rivalry thanks to his win in 2007. He’s since gone on to set a world record by eating 68 hot dogs and buns in 12 minutes.

Lest you think the world of competitive eating is devoid of non-intestinal drama, think again. For the past several years, Kobayashi has refused to abide by the rules set forth by Nathan’s and has been subsequently banned from the contest. Who knew shoving hot dogs in your face could be so complicated? However, it has led to a potential new rivalry in the world of tubed meats.

In the meantime, Nathan’s remains the king of the frankfurter fights, with ESPN feeding viewers’ appetites for disgustingly fascinating television, starting Wednesday at 3 p.m. ET. It also works as a great appetizer for that Independence Day cookout you’re headed to … provided your stomach hasn’t been turned in knots.

This week’s Dude Tube Picks to Click

BBQ Pitmasters marathon – Starts 6 a.m. Wednesday, Destination America

I repeat, any Fourth of July without an abundance of meats cooked over an open flame is just not one that I care to be a part of. If you feel the same way, Destination America has your back with 21 straight hours of guys and their grills. It’s a mouth-watering marathon of beef, pork, chicken – and probably several animals Old MacDonald didn’t have on his farm.

Twilight Zone marathon – Starts 8 a.m. Wednesday, Syfy

In the event that you don’t like your Independence Day marathons slathered in barbecue sauce, Syfy will take care of you with its annual Twilight Zone cavalcade. Rod Serling’s classic tales of the supernatural are just as engrossing now as they were during their original run in the late 1950s and early 1960s. Now if only there was an episode that involved Jack Osbourne running wild over open water.

Deliverance – Friday, 8 p.m., AMC

This is the movie that redefined backwoods river rafting – and not for the better. Burt Reynolds, Jon Voight, Ned Beatty and Ronny Cox get top billing, but it’s the back country locals they encounter who are the most memorable. In honor of the movie’s 40^th anniversary, AMC is presenting this celluloid hillbilly hoedown with limited commercial interruption. Pack your banjo, your bow and arrow, and try to avoid having a “purty mouth.”

Superhero Sunday – Starts 9 a.m., FX

Smack dab in the midst of the release of The Amazing Spider-Man and The Dark Knight Rises, FX is loading up for a Sunday of super adventures. It starts with Dragonball: Evolution and wraps up in the evening with Spider-Man 3. In between are a handful of blockbuster action flicks pitting the super good against the super evil – or something to that effect. If you can sit through Daredevil after the network has stretched it into a three-hour affair, you might have a superpower of your own.

American Ninja Warrior – Sunday, 9 p.m., G4

After weeks of regional qualifying, the top athletes have made their way to Las Vegas for their shot at Mt. Midoriyama. This year’s competition has attracted actors, NFL players, stunt men and some of the most athletic civilians around vying for the title of “American Ninja Warrior.” But we all know it’s going to be the office receptionist who doesn’t know the first thing about ninja-ing that wins the tournament.

– Marcas Grant (@MarcasG)